As we mark the 35th anniversary of Real Men Cook®, a movement that celebrates the culinary and cultural contributions of Black men, it’s essential to acknowledge the significance of this milestone. For three decades and five years, Real Men Cook has been a beacon of pride and empowerment for Black men, fathers, and families across the globe.
Yvette Moyo asked me to join her on this magnificent journey 35 years ago, along with a roster of extraordinary women. We were tasked with recruiting men to cook for 50 people for free on Father's Day. I recruited Darryl Dennard, my co-host on Ebony Jet Showcase, to be among the premier men to launch Real Men Cook. Initially, he was skeptical.
“Why on Father’s Day when it’s our one day as men and fathers to take the day off and be celebrated?” he asked. Now, looking back on that day, he said, “It turned out to be a great invitation that the entire family enjoyed, and I kept coming back for 23 consecutive years.”
Darryl loved the idea because he as he put it, “There is a camaraderie among men when ‘no women are allowed’ because it compels us to powerfully step into the space of being givers as women traditionally do. As men, we need to be givers because you treat yourself when you give of yourself.”
Real Men Cook serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of intergenerational connections and knowledge sharing. By passing down recipes, traditions, and cultural practices from one generation to the next, Black men and fathers help preserve their heritage and cultural identity. This transmission of knowledge also empowers younger generations to take ownership of their heritage and build upon the legacies of those who came before them.
Darryl still has a cherished photograph of the first year at the Museum of Science and Industry, wearing his collectible RMC apron surrounded by his family and a beloved friend who has since passed.
“I found a recipe in the Ebony Cook Book or Magazine for Hawaiian Chicken that everyone loved, “Darryl said. “Dr. Terry Mason, Commissioner of Cook County Department of Public Health, was stationed across from me with a vegan dish, and Congressman Danny K. Davis served up raccoon Arkansas style. Even then-State Senator Barack Obama showed up!”
Darryl did not sample the raccoon, but his daughter Autumn, now a budding entrepreneur, did, and Darryl is proud that they were able to replicate the MSI photo with her son – his grandson – years later. That’s what’s beautiful about Real Men Cook: it provides a platform to create a special multi-generational Black male community that showcases their talents and allows them to share their stories and connect with others who understand their experiences.
Darryl’s son, Darryl Westley, an emerging internationally renowned multidisciplinary artist based in New York City, has fond memories of participating in RMC once he came of age.
“This marks the 35th year of my father’s affiliation with RMC, which started the same year I was born, “Westley acknowledges. “I will always remember it being an important part of my father’s life and as a community event that brings together all these people highlighting this idea of doing something that is a communal activity.”
Like his father, Westley enjoyed the spirited “friendly competition” that occurs during the event.
“It’s special when you make something and someone appreciates it, he said.” Maybe it’s the ‘Iron Chef’ in us; it’s also the ability to create something of sustenance that produces a lot of pride and comes from perfecting a dish or craft for others to enjoy.”
In addition to celebrating individual achievements, Real Men Cook also highlights the collective impact of Black men and fathers on their communities. By recognizing their collective contributions, we acknowledge the value they bring to their families, neighborhoods, and society as a whole. This recognition is crucial for promoting social cohesion, challenging systemic inequalities, and fostering a more inclusive and equitable society.
“I am extremely grateful to be a father, “says Darryl Sr. “Where much is given, much is required; I aim to be the father that my father wasn’t able to be. Mentoring as an educator and moderator for young brothers for Christ allows me to expand my family in the concept of being part of an African village where it ‘takes a village to raise a child.”
Advice to new fathers: “Don’t make promises; be consistent; never lose childlike qualities; be fun and funny; don’t take yourself too seriously; listen; be mindful to create pathways for people to feel comfortable.”
Black men and fathers are often overlooked or marginalized in society, facing unique challenges and biases that can affect their ability to thrive. By celebrating their accomplishments and contributions as RMC does, we acknowledge as a community the critical role they play in breaking cycles of poverty, improving family dynamics, and fostering positive social change.
“Every person has a responsibility: first to God, family, community, and country, “says Darryl Sr. “When you have this concept of fidelity, it will reorient how you look at the world; it will cause you to love, give back, and forgive.”
The lesson of responsibility was well-absorbed by Darryl Westley even though he is not yet a father; he aspires to create a family. “Fatherhood represents the understanding of our role to empower the next generation,” he said. “Know your calling and develop it to create a legacy that can fuel or inspire that next generation.”
Under the leadership of President and Program Manager, Rael Jackson, Real Men Cook continues to bring together and inspire men representative of all generations and from all walks of life.
As we mark the 35th anniversary of Real Men Cook, let us take this opportunity to honor the unsung heroes who have made significant contributions to their communities. Let us celebrate the love, laughter, and resilience that defines Black men and fathers. And let us continue to amplify their voices, stories, and achievements to create a more just and compassionate world for all.
Congratulations on 35 and many blessings for 35 more and beyond!
